How to Become a Social Butterfly

As I was growing up my mom would always refer to me as a “social butterfly”. Someone who loves flitting from one social event and party to another. Little did I know that I would meet my best friends, collaborators and colleagues simply by socializing. I simply enjoy meeting and getting to know people, and have been lucky enough to build amazing friendships wherever I go. Do you find yourself struggling in this area? Read on to find out my tips for building quality friendships at any phase in your life.

Become a Social Butterfly

Too often we focus on the social part and not being a butterfly. While it’s great to socialize, odds are you are probably not going to meet your best friend after 5 minutes of small talk at afterwork drinks or a mass meetup event. Building relationships takes time and repetition. The Butterfly doesn’t just land on roses, it flies from leaves, to tulips, to daffodils and so on. Variation in your social life is key. Try drinks, but don’t forget workshops, or more curated and smaller group events (like brunch or one one one coffee dates).

Follow up is Key

You don’t follow up. When I meet someone I really click with, I exchange numbers and invite them out for coffee. One on one meetings are so important for building a relationship and establishing if you have as much in common as you thought. Don’t underestimate the power of platonic dates with friends!

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

You’re shy, introverted, don’t want to be a creeper, or don’t know how to start a conversation. Feel free to add any other reason for not connecting with someone. I can only say, feel the fear and do it anyway. We have all faced rejection at some point, some more than others, but don’t let that fear prevent you from making meaningful connections. Start with asking for a coffee, then maybe invite them out for lunch or dinner. Invite them to events or a museum. Try to build on your interactions and with every coffee you share or dinner you have, you’ll slowly develop your friendship.


Don’t beat yourself up or feel too down if it takes a long time to find a group of friends that you’re close to. It’s a process and not a race. You’ve got this!

Innah Wordsworth